Greetings fellow travelers upon this blue rock of ours-or hey, how's it going? This blog is going to be about assisting the humanist movement accelerate, problems with faith and the bible, different denominations and their own particular subset of challenges for those thinking about slipping the leash (Lutheranism will appear a little more heavily but feel free to jump in with yours as I have more than a passing familiarity with many of them and am looking forward to learning about others.)
Believers are welcome here as well and trolls are understandable-let's all make sure we have thought out our points and would make our mothers proud of our online decorum.
How I arrived here will be dealt with in a succinct manner (hopefully) and as I blog further I am positive juicy nuggets of my past will emerge like a kidney stone on its inexorable journey. If any of my misadventures triggers a thought for you to share that will be absolutely bonny.
I was raised in the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod, the most conservative denomination of Lutherans in the U.S. and the ones with the closest ties to Martin Luther, the accidental founder of Lutheranism-much to his chagrin. The LSCM is widespread in the Midwest and in the small farming communities that have a history of emigrants from Germany. Being of an agrarian German background starts folks out on the conservative side of the ledger and if they are raised in a small, Midwestern town well "Katy, bar the door" as we used to never say.
I'm going to save much of the doctrine of the LCMS for another blog but mention that along with church, Sunday school, and vacation bible school (purple kool-aid and raisin cookies), we had catechism classes on Wednesdays after school from the fifth through the eighth grades. The LCMS believes in doctrinal dosing of the lambs by the bucket loads. Other than the problem of being stuck in a small room with several of my unfortunate peers instead of roaming the great outdoors like our more heathen brethren in town it wasn't bad because I took to books easily and could memorize the verses and Luther's Small Catechism in a few minutes. Because of my thirst for history I read the bible quite a bit-well, more of the Old Testament because of the blood and gore and its overwhelming R-rating and by high school knew more of what was in its pages and how to think like a Lutheran than probably anyone else at church other than the pastor.
Alas, I read other books as well-secular books-and when I outgrew my small-town library I began haunting the community college library where my father taught night school and I was allowed to check out books. I noticed a large number of authors that impressed me as being highly intelligent weren't exactly "Christian". One question, among many that bolted itself in my head and could not be dislodged was why there were so many smart, articulate people that merely held their noses or were down right hostile towards Christianity. Weren't they afraid of not going to heaven? Hmmmm....
However, through much of college, religion was winning out as I actually branched out and sampled other denominations besides Lutheranism and also because of my new-found interest in guitar I was recruited to play for Sunday youth services at college. My reading addiction guided me to many Christian books and I became even more religious and realized what a hotbed (pun intended) of iniquity college was. Each day was a titanic struggle against darkness as I attempted to keep my sin count below 20...50....100 for the day depending on the how much clothing the coeds were wearing as they bounced along to class. I was reminded each day of Jesus admonition not to even commit adultery in your heart and I was good with that-it was that spot about 18 inches below the pump station that was doing me in.
For that and other reasons I decided to transfer to a Missouri-Synod teachers college and finish my teaching degree there. I thought that might help with my sin count and also if one is going to be a serious Christian, shouldn't they get into some type of ministry if possible? I knew I did not want to be a pastor despite hints from grown-ups in my hometown about my "gifts" in that area but I did enjoy teaching and what better combination than serving God and also being a teacher.
Looking back, I can see now that I peaked on religious intensity about the time I transferred to the LCMS college. My two years there made me realize that I was an outlier and was much less religious than most of the other kids. I rarely went to church, drank more than ever (which still wasn't that much), and while the guilt still hit me, I enjoyed more than ever the attractions of the female form in its natural state. The other outcasts (some who are still my friends) called the real religious kids "beaters" which was short for bible beaters. I'm not sure what they called us but they certainly didn't do it to our face.
After graduation I took a "call" to a school ran by three Lutheran congregations in rural Indiana and taught middle school before moving to Florida and teaching another couple of years there. Due to financial reasons such as church schools pay abysmally poorly I left the "ministry" for four years and did sales in the Sunshine State. After that, I moved to my home state and resumed teaching in Lutheran schools because I was eminently hirable in their minds and I also would have needed several college hours to get the public school job I would have desired. By this time I was a tired Christian. I enjoyed the occasional sermon but most of them were boring and predictable. Sunday School was a droll affair as either as the teacher of it or one of the class the lesson was designed for the comprehension of the folks on the left-side of the bell curve. I took to skipping Sunday School when I wasn't teaching it and sitting in my car reading the Sunday paper.
I began raising eyebrows at my new school when I started a recycling program and began emphasizing environmental studies to my students. I knew most of the parents were conservative Republicans/Christians but what harm was it to recycle paper, right? During this time I also joined the Sierra Club and due to my proclivity of public speaking and enthusiasm I appeared on the local television stations occasionally and I sensed more eyes in the back of my head . But the biggest heartburn for myself and the school was yet to come and it was a familiar battlefield-evolution.
The LCMS believes in the Genesis version of creation. They are creationists/literalists/fundamentalists. Officially, they don't have a position on evolution but that is just them whistling through the graveyard.
I knew the landmine that was Charles Darwin and it was a real struggle for me. The first couple of years wasn't too bad as I just skimmed over it and told the class it was "just a theory" but I knew I was copping out as I had not done my due diligence on it. Because of my environmental work I was reading and talking with many scientists all who accepted evolutionary theory. They couldn't be all wrong could they? No, they couldn't. After doing serious study on evolution I confirmed what I knew/feared in my heart that it was true and my church's position was dead-wrong. Yet, if I stated it in class I could very well be handed my walking papers with a wife and three kids. Well now that's a sticky wicket, old fellow. Reminds me of the clergyproject.org which assists clergy who want to leave the ministry yet due to financial or other reasons are trapped in their job.
The next few years I became bolder and bolder that week in the spring when the chapter on evolution would come up. A couple of times it came up at parent-teacher conferences but I was able to deflect the questions by not being altogether forthcoming on my personal opinion. Over time, however, the principal and pastor took notice and probably along with the other evidence such as the lack of Sunday School attendance, my environmental work, my fat salary (in their eyes), and my recommendation of books for the students to read I was let go after teaching in Lutheran schools for ten years.
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